The city crest depicts a Pelican feeding her young with her own blood
Although we are back in the U.S. at this time, we fondly remember our visit to our home town, Appingedam. This very old city is located in the esat center fo the province of Groningen; which is the northern-most province in the Netherlands. We had the privilege to stay in a house which was built in 1631.
My cousin had very graciously agreed to open her home to us. We were free to come and go as we pleased and really enjoyed this freedom without “expectations.”
As a side note, I must share that it is uncommon in the Netherlands for relatives to spend any overnights with each other. The country is small and compact. A one hour automobile ride from the center fo the country will get you to any of the borders. So, even from Amsterdam it is only about two hours to Groningen. This affords most people to travel to and from home for just about any visit. Because of this, many relatives may not share intimate conversations with each other. Once you have left the nest, you’re on your own and are expected to stay on your own. Most people make new friends later in life and usually are very close to those friends, often at the cost of close relationships with siblings.
Therefor we were really blessed by the ability to have an extended visit to the area where we grew up, from toddlers until emigration in early adulthood. My parents are buried there and we were able to refresh the silk flowers on their grave as we reflected on their lifes and the impact it still has on ours. We roamed the streets of the inner city reflecting on the experiences of our youth. We did some shopping and talked with old acquaintances. We drove around the area with my cousin, visiting relatives and revisiting old sites, sharing lunch and memories. We also made new friends and hope these friendships will grow over time in spite of the distance.
4 comments:
Some traditions and customs are spectacular, nostalgic and wonderful; but some traditions and customs ought not to be.
What you write about relatives nor staying overnight and not sharing intimate conversations I would not describe as a dutch tradition!
In my opinion it depends on the kind of relation ,the occasion and of course the space in your house.
In the house of my grandparents and ( later) my mother's house was
an attick with bedrooms and lots of beds for all the family to stay overnight for e.g. birthdays, Christmas etc.
With my family and friends it regularly happens we stay overnight, in Brugge ( our dutch home though not in Holland) we often had family and friends overnight for intimate conversations but as I said, it depends on the relation you FEEL and the occasion.
In our present home we can have intimate conversations but dont have space for more than 1 overnight guest. Understand what I mean?
I thought to react on this, reading Rick and Monique's comment
( on this I think? )
With love, Fera
I agree; maybe custom or tradition is putting this too strongly.
During our extended visit we experienced both. I agree that it depends on the mutual relationship.
It also depends on expectancy but this should not be "expected." Specifically, unspoken expectations may really "trouble the water."
Loving relationships forgive...
Thanks for your comments!
Joh
In his blog. I lamented some of the lack of intimacy between siblings, later in life; something which we have experienced in one form or another. Mostly this was aggravated by distance. We were in the US military and subsequently moved around a lot. We were overseas for 12 out of the 24 we were on active duty. I was the oldest and had a family, while my siblings still lived at home or “roomed” near their workplace. There was always place and time for us as a family and we spend many long weekends together.
Secondly, I must admit that even in the U.S. there were experiences which were less than “hospitable.” Not everyone has a gift of “hospitality.” During our travels we have stayed in many private homes. Some were just for an overnight, part of a hospitality network, some were for visits and talking about “old-times.” Just a small hint: if you have overnight guests, please allow space for a suitcase. I really don’t want to move your precious keepsakes out of the way, just to be able to change clothes. Person who travel a lot and those who served in military service, as a family, or missionary families, usually understand this better.
Since our return from Europe, we have been on two overnight trips and have had overnights guests. Our house is expected to be full with overnight guests, during our celebration surrounding the New Year. Fortunately we have two and a half bathrooms...
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